Blog One: Chris' Perspective

The following “Diary Entries” are the words and ideas of Lauren Schwinghammer, written in the perspective of Chris Coughlin: (Crutcher 14.)

Yesterday we all hads a swim meet at Jefferson. T.J. did so good! I liked riding on the bus. We got stuck in the snow on the way home, though. It was really cold. Then Andy started talking. Real soft. I pretended to sleep but I really wasn't! He told everyoned about when he was younger. His mom's boyfriend hurt him real bad when they were alone. He told us how he would tie him to a cupboard and leave. I felt bad for Andy. If no one would have laughed at me, I might had hugged himI went tah school today and seen T.J. from the swim team. He waved. Even when Mike Barbour looked like he'd punch him because he waved at me. I smiled back and i got that 'furry' feeling inside (like my brother used to say.) I only got that feeling one time before in my life, when my big brother would hug me. Does this mean T.J.'s my friend? I hope so. At swimming today, Coach Icko says "hop in the water boys" and Andy makes a sound like a frog. T.J. smiles and hops in. So I do, too. I laugh and swim laps. I love swimming time because I never get tired. And. Nobody teases me or tells me to take off my brother's special jacket.
Two Weeks LaterI want to tell you something. Yesterday I took out some letters my brother had written me from his school. It was a fancy one. My mom said "coal-odge" alot when we saw my brother. But I saw these letters he wrote to me when he was not home. I got so sad because here what they said: "I'm going to be moving soon, but I want you to know that you can call me anytime. I love you." I start to cry sometimes when people tease me about wearing his jacket. It is just a jacket. Sometimes I get beat up for it. Crying doesnt help, though. My mom has been saying this since my brother's been gone. I miss him very much every day. When I go to school and show people, anyone who will look, his picture in the trophy case, and all the shiny things he won for Cutter, I remember how much better he is than me. And why I never fit in. This is because all of the kids remember my brother. Then when they look at me, it's a dissappointment. I am not as smart as him, or tall. I'm not strong either. That's why I swim. Swimming makes me feel like a cardinal. (Like a bird.) I can fly, I can move easy, and I don't have to hear Mike Barbour yelling "Chicken!" or "Loser!" in my ear.

(Three Months Later)
If I had to chose my favorite person ever. It would be T.J. He saved me from all these other guys. (The ones who push me.) When T.J. stands tall and swims kindof like a fish, I want to be like him. I see my brother reflected in the water. I want to have confindense like him, too. He is not afraid to stand up for me when I’m getting pushed around, and he’s DEFINETLY not afraid to stand up for himself. I’ve seen people bother him because of the things he thinks about, and sometimes bump into him and then laugh and say jokes about his name or skin. He can just forget it. I want to forget all of the people who have hurt me in the past or who make fun of me for who I am. I mean, I sometimes think it’s my fault that I’m like this. (Not fitting in, I mean.)

One Week Later
I got a letter jacket today! It’s for swimming. I kept getting good times. And then better again. I haven’t been as bothered by teasing lately, especially since I stopped wearing my brother’s jacket ,too. The difference is, now I have my own.